October is coming to a close, and therefore so is LGBTQIA+ history month!
This week would have been a double whammy what with Intersex Awareness Day happening on October 26th and Asexual Awareness Week happening between October 22nd-28th.
Since Intersex Day of Solidarity happens on November 8th, I've decided to focus this newsletter on the asexuality spectrum exclusively and focus on intersex rights next time!
It only seems fair to devote the same amount of time to both these incredibly varied identities and give them each the attention they deserve.
Fun fact: I'm asexual (ace for short) myself!
Asexuality is an often misunderstood identity. Lots of people either confuse the term with the asexual reproduction process some species utilize (worms, for example) or attribute a lack of sexual desire to psychological trauma. Neither of these are necessarily accurate.
Simply said, asexuality is a sexual orientation like any other! While many variations exist, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction.
Asexuality is separate from aromanticism, which denotes a lack of desire to be in romantic partnerships with others. Asexual people can still have close romantic relationships, and being asexual does not automatically equal being celibate. Asexual people can be sex-averse or sex-repulsed, sex-neutral (indifferent but not actively seeking it out), or even sex-positive (having sex just for fun with no attraction).
Ace people often describe themselves in several terms. For example, someone may identify as "asexual panromantic," meaning they are asexual but can experience romantic feelings to people regardless of gender.
An epiphany for me personally was discovering the existence of different types of attraction. For many people these tend to overlap, but for me they don't!
Sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with somebody.
Physical attraction is the desire to be physically close to someone but not in a sexual context (i.e. hugging or holding hands).
Aesthetic attraction is the admiration of someone's physical appearance without feeling any other type of desire towards them.
Emotional Attraction is the desire to form a close emotional connection with someone but doesn't need to include physical contact.
Romantic Attraction is usually a combination of the above forms of attraction but doesn't necessarily need to include all of them.
For example, I am aesthetically, emotionally, and physically attracted to my partner, but not necessarily sexually, as that's not something I tend to experience in general. I still consider us to be in a loving romantic relationship!
Learning about these distinctions really helped me discover my own identity and better understand the asexuality spectrum. Different people may have slightly varying definitions of these terms depending on personal experiences, but overall I think they're a great tool to discuss relationships and human connections.
When did it start?
Asexuality Awareness Week was founded by Sara Beth Brooks in 2010. She joined forces with AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) founder David Jay to educate the general public on the existence and nature of asexuality, as well as create spaces and forums for asexual people to connect.
The very first Ace Week happened mainly on social media. As interest grew, a committee was formed, and in following years they began to target mass media outlets, educational organizations, and medical professionals, as well as incorporate in-person events!
Different types of asexuality
As with most queer identities, asexual identities are incredibly varied and often described as falling along a spectrum. Here are a few helpful definitions!
Demisexual - Someone who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a close emotional bond with someone.
Grey Asexual/Grey Ace - Someone whose sexuality falls in a grey area--they identify as asexual but don't fit into the clearly defined categories of sex averse vs. sex neutral vs. sex positive.
Aegosexual - Someone who is interested in sexual content but does not want to take part in the activities themselves.
Aceflux - Someone whose sexual attraction fluctuates over time.
Fraysexual - Someone who experiences strong sexual attraction to strangers but very little attraction to someone they know well.
Cupiosexual - Someone who doesn't experience sexual desire but still wants a sexual relationship.
.. and many more!!
Last but not least, for the more visual learners, I wanted to direct you to an incredible artist I follow on social media: Victoria Barron. She makes super cool infographics about queer topics and identities, including asexuality! Go follow her for great information.
I was going to write a little about the asexual flag as well, but since this e-mail is already quite long, I may leave it for next time! There are other asexual-themed days throughout the year, so that will be a perfect topic for one of those.
The Trevor Project - Asexual Awareness Week
AceWeek.org
Ace Week on Instagram
AVEN - Asexuality Visibility and Education Network
Heckin Unicorn - Asexuality Awareness Week
Asexual Outreach
Chat Ace on Instagram
Asexual Spectrum Wiki